the finch with the broken wing
by Nelauk
Summary: grassheart and hawkfeather dismissed this as just shyness, but as hawkfeather observed his son over time, he began to notice that something was not quite right with finchkit.
1. Chapter 1

grassheart's kits were quite normal, hawkfeather supposed. his mate gave birth to a litter of two; squirrelkit and finchkit. the first was named for his brown coat and energetic personality, while the other was named for his size and swiftness.

however, one of the brothers, finchkit, acted quite unusually. he rarely interacted with other cats in his clan, and he seemed nervous or afraid most of the time. grassheart and hawkfeather dismissed this as just shyness, but as hawkfeather observed his son over time, he began to notice that something was not quite right with finchkit.

"look at me, hawkfeather!" squirrelkit squealed, "i'm gonna catch this leaf!"

the big brown tabby purred in affection as his son leaped and tumbled, in an attempt to grab it. then hawkfeather turned to finchkit. he noticed that the small light brown tabby was sitting alone near the nursery, pawing at the ground.

"finchkit?" he asked, walking towards him, "aren't you going to play with your brother?"

the little kitten gasped and turned, his bright blue eyes wide with fear.

"i'm sorry if i scared you there," hawkfeather mewed, "come on, let's go see what your brother is up to!"

finchkit hesitated, then slowly got up, legs shaking. he followed his father to where squirrelkit was playing, and hawkfeather said, "you should give him some company."

the young tom nodded slowly, and approached his brother rather cautiously, his tail flicking.

strange...he's treating his brother as if he's an enemy warrior from another clan...

"hi, finchkit!" squirrelkit chirped excitedly, "wanna play?"

"o-okay..." his brother replied after a brief pause.

hawkfeather watched him closely; he noticed that finchkit looked distant and withdrawn, and barely even played with squirrelkit.

"hawkfeather, why doesn't he want to play with me?" the brown tom whined, a note of frustration in his voice.

"maybe he's just tired," he answered, "maybe you can play with him later, perhaps."

squirrelkit let out a sigh and said, "fine..."

as the kit turned away and bounded back to the nursery, hawkfeather continued to look at his other son. something wasn't right about him...and he had to find out about his kit's problem.

"no!" finchpaw screeched, "i'm not sleeping in there anymore!"

squirrelpaw tried to restrain his furious brother from leaping at lightpaw. the golden tabby's eyes were wide with fear as finchpaw tried to swipe at him with unsheathed claws.

"what's going on?" said grayfur; he was a large long furred gray tom, and was the medicine cat of forestclan, "is there something wrong?"

blackstorm, another warrior, followed him, a look of concern on his broad face.

"what's happening?" grayfur growled.

"he's having one of his weird fits again!" squirrelpaw gasped as he tried to keep finchpaw from attacking the other apprentice, "i tried to calm him down, but..."

"'weird fits', eh? let me ask finchpaw about this, then," grayfur meowed thoughfully, "finchpaw, what seems to be the matter?"

finchpaw pointed to lightpaw, his wide eyes blazing with hostility, "it's him," he snarled, "he tried to kill me while i was sleeping!"

"is that so?" grayfur asked, turning to lightpaw.

"it's not true! he's talking crazy; i didn't even lay a paw on him last night!" the tabby yowled.

"liar, liar, liar!" finchpaw screeched, "you tried to kill me; i know it!"

grayfur narrowed his yellow eyes and approached a small silver tabby, who was watching the whole episode near the entrance to the apprentice den.

"hello, sleetpaw. i have a question; did you see lightpaw do anything suspicious while guarding the camp last night?"

sleetpaw bowed her head, "no, grayfur. i didn't see anything or hear anything in the apprentice den."

grayfur nodded his large stormy gray head, "thank you, then."

the old tom suddenly heard paws pounding the ground. hawkfeather and grassheart were informed of the commotion and came to see what was going on.

"we've heard of what's going on. can you please tell me, what is wrong with my son?" grassheart gasped, fear blazing in her amber eyes.

grayfur sighed. "your son is...having one of his 'weird fits' again, as squirrelpaw dubs it."

hawkfeather looked at finchpaw, a grim air about him. he knew it-he knew that there was something wrong with him, "tell me, why is he having this 'weird fit'?"

the old medicine cat narrowed his eyes, and murmured, "he thinks that lightpaw tried to kill him last night, as he was sleeping."

"but surely he must be just nervous, right?" grassheart asked, "it's not much of a big deal, right?"

grayfur sighed again, sympathy and pain flashing in his eyes, "i believe it is a 'big deal', as you put it. i've seen him; these fits and strange behavior is not uncommon. it happens quite often, actually. one time i approached him and asked him why he behaves like this."

"how come, then?" hawkfeather asked, "why is he acting like this?"

"he said the reason why is because he hears voices. he claims that someone is controlling him. the reason why he's like this," grayfur answered.

"but surely it's only a phase!" grassheart wailed, "maybe he'll grow out of it...?"

grayfur shook his head, and replied, "i'm afraid that hearing these voices and strange, erratic behavior is most certainly not a phase, grassheart. it's safe to say that your son is not of sound mind."

the two last words of grayfur's sentence caused hawkfeather to stiffen.

his suspicions were confirmed.

something was definitely wrong with finchpaw.


	2. Chapter 2

moons had passed. it had been quite a long time since finchpaw's and squirrelpaw's apprentice ceremony. now they were warriors.

well, one of the siblings did not become one, though.

at the warrior ceremony, hawkfeather wasn't as happy as he should be. yes, he was proud of his son, squirrelpaw, now squirrelheart, becoming a warrior, but he was saddened and angered by the fact that his son, finchpaw, wasn't able to be there beneath the hightree next to his brother, basking in the admiration and pride of forestclan.

the small cat's mentor, blackstorm, had finally given up on him, for finchpaw had deluded himself into thinking that the big black tom was secretly planning to kill him and the rest of the clan by poisoning the fresh-kill pile. not to mention that the poor apprentice had tried to kill blackstorm during many of their training sessions.

"i saw him!" he'd wailed, "out in the camp at night! putting deathberries in the food!"

some of the warriors had to come and restrain him from attacking blackstorm, like what squirrelheart had done in the whole episode with lightpaw.

"she told me...she told me...he's going to kill me...or perhaps the leader, and usurp his position," he rambled, "we have to stop him, we have to stop him, we have to stop him..."

grassheart had given up on finchpaw, too; she was overwhelmed by guilt, for she had brought a complete monster into this world. she couldn't bear to even flash a glance at him; grassheart was clearly ashamed of her kit. she'd sat there, watching all the pandemonium, her head hanging with sorrow and pity. the apprentices were in the safety of their dens, fear apparent on their faces, the kits looked on in terror, and blackstorm appeared weary. he was used to his former apprentice's strange, and often violent behavior.

"it is with a heavy heart that i declare finchpaw to be isolated from the rest of the clan. he poses a threat to us, and therefore he must be kept away from the camp."

silverstar's yowl rang through the clearing, and hawkfeather felt furious when he heard this announcement. why did they have to treat finchpaw as though he was fox or a badger? he was a cat like them; the old warrior was certain that there was some way that they could help the young tom, instead of making him even worse.

hawkfeather looked at his son, who was sitting beneath the hightree. finchpaw looked at his father with desperate, wide eyes; he and grayfur were the only cats the light brown tabby trusted.

his thoughts were interrupted when grayfur suddenly spoke, "but silverstar, there must be another way. keeping him isolated will only make his condition far more worse!"

the old medicine cat's words echoed hawkfeather's thoughts; what he said was true. isolation could drive a cat to madness, and finchpaw, who was quite insane, would destroy him even more.

but silverstar's reaction was not the one the two cats wanted.

"my word is law, and you know it. i have said, and it will be done!" she said, her green eyes slits.

hawkfeather looked desperately around him, trying to find any signs of resistance or disagreement among his clanmates. but all of them, including grassheart, seemed to agree to their leader's idea.

"but there conditions, however. let us vote. those in favor of finchpaw's exile, say 'aye'."

hope flared in the big warrior's chest. perhaps there was a second chance for his son.

"aye," said a small voice hesitantly. hawkfeather turned to see the source of the voice; it was grassheart who had said it. soon it was followed by many more utterings of "aye!" and hawkfeather's heart sank.

he was never going to see his son again.

after a while, the hubbub eventually stopped, and silverstar continued. "those who disagree with the exile of finchpaw, say 'nay'."

no cat spoke. hawkfeather and grayfur knew that there was no more hope left for the apprentice, and the forestclan leader nodded grimly. "it is decided, then! finchpaw shall leave forestclan, and never come back. if he does, however, we will show him no mercy."

hawkfeather felt fury and hatred towards his leader flood his body. how dare she-how dare they-treat finchpaw with such coldness! he had thought his clan to be much more better than this, and at this point his loyalty towards silverstar and the clan nearly vanished.

as the cats disbanded and went back to their duties, grayfur walked up to hawkfeather and pressed his muzzle against his flank. "i'm sorry," he murmured, "i tried to do everything to help him."

the warrior did not reply; he only stared at the apprentice den, sorrow and fury clouding his eyes.

"may starclan light his path," the medicine cat said, and with that, he padded back to his den.

hawkfeather continued to gaze towards then den; his son could've become a warrior...could've lead a good life. if only the clan had tried to help finchpaw, he would perhaps be a bit more different!

a tail tip touched his cheek, and hawkfeather looked behind him; it was his mate, grassheart.

"i'm sorry," she whispered, "we had no choice. it was for the best-"

he whirled around, rage blazing in his eyes, and his lips pulled back to reveal his teeth. "for the best? casting him out like he's a rotten piece of fresh-kill, throwing him out to the wild, leaving him to fend for himself, is nowhere near beneficial! how could you let that happen to him! you're not fit to call yourself a mother, or my mate!"

leaving a startled and heartbroken grassheart behind, he stomped out of the camp, and into the forest.

as he bounded through the undergrowth, he heard a wail in the distance. it was finchpaw.

several warriors from the clan were chasing him away, though hawfeather could tell that they did not do their duty with much eagerness and enthusiasm.

his son's wails became more fainter and fainter, and soon it faded into the shadows and mist.


	3. Chapter 3

hawkfeather struggled to get up from his nest. age had stiffened his limbs and covered his fur with gray hairs, but he still had some of his muscles from his youth.

many, many moons had passed since finchpaw's exile. squirrelheart was now a senior warrior, silverstar had died of greencough two moons ago during a particularly harsh leaf-bare, and grayfur had passed away due to old age.

so many things had happened over that course of time; often hawkfeather wondered where his son was, and how he was doing. not a day passed without finchpaw appearing in his father's thoughts once in a while.

clan life carried on as if the exile never happened. the old tabby watched his son sharing tongues with his mate, sleetpelt. he felt a twinge of pride for his son; squirrelheart was going to have kits, start a new life. he imagined him sitting with his mate in front of the nursery, pressing lovingly against each other, as their kits tumbled and played at their paws.

that should've been finchpaw also, hawkfeather thought bitterly. it was all his fault; he should've said "nay" during the long-ago clan meeting! he should've done something to at least support his ill fated son!

hawkfeather felt the old rage that had been locked inside for so many seasons, and, claws unsheathed, he got up, stomped out of the camp, and walked through the forest again.

birdsong filled the air; rays of sunlight touched the undergrowth, but the old cat was too furious to achknowledge it. prey scattered as he trotted angrilly through the ferns and brambles, his eyes dark with grief and anger.

suddenly a foreign scent reached his nose. it smelled strongly of herbs and the marsh that bordered the forest.

"who's there?" the forestclan elder called out, trying to keep his fur lying flat.

there was silence for a few moments, then suddenly a sleek-coated black she-cat burst out of the ferns. she let out a gasp when she saw hawkfeather, her emerald green eyes stretching wide.

"i'm sorry!" the she-cat gasped, "i chased a frog into the forest, and..."

"don't apologize," hawkfeather rumbled, "you're a medicine cat; i won't attack you. however, i recommend that you leave our territory. there are patrols around here."

the pretty black she-cat dipped her broad her, blinking gratefully at him. "thank you. and you're an elder, aren't you? i can tell. you should be in your nest."

"i know that," hawkfeather replied, "but i'm just taking a walk. always do that when i feel troubled."

the marshclan medicine cat's whiskers twitched. "i see. anyway, let me tell you something..."

the old tom tilted his head to one side. "what is it?"

the she-cat blinked, shuddered slightly, and finally murmured, "there's a dead cat not far from the marshclan border. you better be careful; it smells of diesese."

"thanks for warning me," hawkfeather called out to the medicine cat as she left, "but why tell me?"

the black marshclan cat turned around, her green eyes glowing. "my service extends to all cats."

despite the she-cat's warning, hawkfeather couldn't help but feel a little curious about this dead cat. so, he padded over to the border that divided forestclan and marshclan; it was a small tributary that ran into the river near stoneclan territory.

as hawkfeather walked along the stream, he kept his ears pricked and his mouth open in case of a patrol. encountering one was the last thing he wanted to do right now.

the old tom sniffed the air, trying to scent this carcass that the medicine cat had told him about.

what are you, a rowdy apprentice?

hawkfeather pushed the thought away and continued his search; there was a chance that it could be lying in the stream, or perhaps hidden somewhere among the reeds that lined the banks, or-

a foul stench hit his nose, causing him to gag. he heard the low thrum of flies, and knew that he was near the body.

it wasn't hard to find. hawkfeather saw the dead cat lying near the stream; he could tell it died from starvation, because the old cat could see that its ribs were sharply defined against its pelt.

hawkfeather sighed. he felt a twinge of pity for the poor cat; but he wasn't surprised, either. it was leaf-bare now, and prey was becoming especially hard to find-

his heart gave a lurch.

the carcass in front of him wasn't any old dead cat.

hawkfeather walked over to the body, and studied its face. his fears were confirmed.

finchpaw's usually luminous blue eyes was now cloudy with death, and hawkfeather let out a low, lonely wail. an intense wave of grief washed over the old tom, and he buried his muzzle into his kit's flank.

grabbing his dead son by the scruff, he dragged the body into the forest, his breath clouding the air as he did so. finally, he laid it in a small clearing among the ferns and brambles, and sat with finchpaw. hawkfeather stared at him, sadness dominating his mind.

he began to lick him; the elder didn't care what the she-cat had said. this was his son, and he deserved to be groomed for one last time.

"i'm sorry, finchpaw," he sobbed, "it was my fault that you're dead. i should've tried to persuade silverstar to give you a second chance."

after a period of grooming, hawkfeather lifted his head to the evening sky. the warriors of silverpelt were just beginning to appear, and, as a light snow began to fall, he yowled, "starclan! finchpaw! if you can hear me, i wish to christen my son with his warrior name. he shall be known as finchfeather. please, heed my request and accept it!"

his call echoed through the trees, and more snow began to fall.

hawkfeather didn't care that he wasn't a leader; he still wanted his son to live in starclan with a warrior name, so finchpaw could live the life he never had while he still lived among the clans.

soon the gentle snowfall began to develop into a ferocious blizzard, and, wrapping himself around his son as if he was sheltering him from the cold, hawkfeather closed his eyes, let out a long sigh, and drifted off into a long, peaceful sleep.


End file.
